Healing the mind. spirit. soul.

2022 was a healing year. The year began with my very first live sound bath meditation.

I used to listen to binaural beats and hertz music via my headphones at work in an effort to keep me grounded and less stressed! Attending a live sound bath was so different than listening in headphones. The way the room vibrated by the person playing the bowls, was magical.

I’ve been on the spiritual path for over a decade, but something shifted after attending that sound bath which would spark my healing journey that year.

A week and a half before my birthday, an unresolved trauma reared its head and caused family estrangement. I suffered my first panic attack, so severe, that I thought I was having a heart attack.

I was bent over, hands on knees, back against the bathroom door, when my cat (now deceased) intuitively ran toward me; he knew to console me. All I kept whispering to myself was to. “breathe…just breathe!” And as I placed my hand on my cat to reassure him I was okay, the vibration from his purr sent an energy to me that regulated my breathing.

And then I sobbed.

The definition of breathe is to take air into the lungs and then expel it. I had been holding my breath for far too long. Repressing my feelings, emotions, my trauma. The go to for everyone without it being reciprocated, left me unable to vent, so journaling became my solace. But there comes a time when even journaling won’t be a replacement for being able to let off steam in a healthy way. Aside from the occasional screaming fits I’ve had in my car.

As a birthday gift, my sister gifted me a trip to the mountains of Vermont. It was a much needed mini retreat. We went snow shoeing, and enjoyed other activities while taking in the scenery. It was cold! As the month of February is in New England, but being in the mountains, with the clean air and serene views, I felt stillness.

The Healing

There was no better time to find a therapist to help me navigate repressed emotions and by March I was attending weekly sessions. However, therapy can be mentally taxing so in order to keep myself from spiraling into an emotional abyss, I made a choice to pour into myself that year by incorporating fun and to experience things I hadn’t. To breathe.

I went hiking, attended more sound bath meditations, took solo wellness trips to local islands while being shuttled to and from on a boat. In May I travelled to New Orleans and visited Congo Square and I honored the ancestors at the old tree. In the fall I went zip lining in the Berkshires and hiking down to a waterfall.

I changed jobs. After four years of working for the school district, I accepted another offer at a Charter School.

Alchemy

Because of this shift in my consciousness, this different way of handling my trauma, stress, emotions, my inquisitiveness led me to research crystal singing bowls and their healing properties, because I definitely felt the change within me, and as synchronicity would have it, I “stumbled” upon a sound healing course. I didn’t hesitate to enroll. I purchased my first singing bowl set and again, it was no coincidence the bowls chose me. I purchased them from a dealer in Vermont. I had them tuned to 432 hertz. They were blessed with shamanic healing and tuned to the chakra system: the root chakra, throat chakra and soul star chakra. All three chakras had been showing up in my life for two years. That course changed my life!

Purging

A new year rang in and on the very first day of January I caught Covid, after surviving not catching it during its peak! I knew it was a purge! I knew I had more healing to do. That same month I graduated as a certified sound healer. As synchronicity would have it, the weekend of my birthday 2023, I furthered my education in energy healing, becoming Reiki certified. It was a full circle moment from where I was the year prior.

Not only was the inner me shifting, the outer also shifted. Environments I once patronized were less appealing, and who I spent time around, were no longer aligned. The more I worked on my healing, the less tolerable I became of old environments, people, and the lack of boundaries I had set that allowed people to mistreat me and take me for granted. That included friends, family and work environments.

As I established boundaries from being the “convenient” friend, and “responsible” family member, the caretaker, the person everyone came to to vent, because I was the listening ear—and although I’m glad I can provide that space—I had to learn how to stop being a people pleaser and more importantly, I had to stop being available to those who wouldn’t give me two minutes of their time. When people see you as the “strong one,” they don’t allow you to be vulnerable with them. Once I came to that realization, relationships changed.

The Breakthrough

Life will humble you, but first it will break you, and it will force you into surrendering.

I learned on this journey that I delayed my healing. That panic attack on that fateful January day was the tipping point. Sometimes it takes a breakdown, which I truly believe that panic attack was, to have a breakthrough.

Three repeating phrases became a theme in 2022 and 2023: “surrender,” “go with the flow,” and “heal.” Signs for me to confront repressed trauma so that I could awaken to my purpose.

Triggers and shadow work doesn’t have to be harsh; they can be gentle reminders that what lies beneath the surface is the inner child longing to be hugged, acknowledged, loved. Albeit, facing triggers can be painful when we avoid to face them head on. The irony is, I thought I was healed. I had done the work on myself. Read the books, journaled my way through. I was wrong. There were always subtle whispers I didn’t pay attention to, and when you don’t listen to the whispers, spirit will get loud.

When you take one step forward in your healing process, the path begins to shed light, in subtle ways. I began to pour into myself, not consciously, just seeking adventure, travel, and experiences. I took myself out on fabulous dates and saw my past, present and future life unfold. Every time I reverted back to past people, places, and things, the more I saw my evolution; old keys won’t open new doors. I couldn’t dip back and forth, it was only forward movement for me and those who weren’t meant to be on my journey fell away. A tell tale sign of who stops showing up for you when you stop being at their convenience.

By fall of 2023, I followed my intuition that had been nagging me for months, and quit the job at the Charter school. The day I resigned, I received my first sound healing contract for a senior living facility. The Universe, ancestors, God, Source, et al., opened doors I couldn’t have imagined.

When we begin our healing journey, when we heal ourselves, we heal our lineage. Our bloodline. Those before us, and those who come after us. The breadcrumbs led me to adventure and energy healing modalities so that I could heal myself, in order to heal others; and that’s my purpose with Mindful Mavens…to heal you in mind, spirit, soul.

Pour into you!

XO ~ Gillian