The Year I Learned to Breathe Again

How a year of sound, stillness, and surrender transformed my life

A Sound That Awakened Me

2022 was the year I began to truly heal. It started with my first live sound bath, a transformative experience that felt entirely different from listening to binaural beats through headphones, as had been my daily and nightly practice for many years prior. The vibrations filled the room and something within me shifted.

That live sound healing event took place on New Year’s day and then a few weeks after that session, a week before my birthday, unresolved trauma resurfaced, leading to family estrangement and my first panic attack. Bent over and gasping for air, I felt completely broken, until my cat ran to me, and as I placed my hand on him to calm him, his purr grounded my breath. That simple vibration from my petting him, transferred energy that regulated my breathing. I was reminded just how long I had been holding everything in: pain, emotion, truth.

The definition of breathe is “to take air into the lungs and then expel it.” I had been holding my breath for too long. Repressing my feelings, emotions, my trauma. The go to for everyone without it being reciprocated, left me unable to vent, so journaling became my solace. But there comes a time when even journaling won’t be a replacement for being able to let off steam in a healthy way.

Choosing to Heal and to Live

Therapy became my next step, but so did joy. I traveled, hiked, attended sound baths, and rediscovered stillness in Vermont’s mountains. My curiosity about energy work led me to a sound healing course, crystal singing bowls, and eventually Reiki certification. Each step was a return to myself and brought me closer to peace and purpose.

Transformation Through Sound and Energy

By early 2023, I had become both a certified sound healer and Reiki practitioner. With each new step, my outer world began to mirror my inner transformation. Friendships shifted, boundaries strengthened, and old spaces no longer fit the person I was becoming. When I finally surrendered to the flow, everything aligned. I left my job and received my first sound healing contract soon after, confirmation that I was walking my purpose.

Healing Forward

Life will humble you, but first it will break you, and it will force you into surrendering.

I learned on this journey that I delayed my healing. Healing humbled me. That panic attack had been a breaking point, but also my breakthrough. Themes of surrender, flow, and healing echoed throughout 2022 and 2023, guiding me to face my shadow work with compassion. I learned that growth isn’t always loud; sometimes it whispers until you finally listen.

Healing myself became more than personal. It became ancestral. When we heal ourselves, we heal our lineage. Our bloodline. Those before us, and those who come after us. When you take one step forward in your healing process, the path begins to shed light, in subtle ways. I began to pour into myself, not consciously, just seeking adventure, travel, and experiences. I took myself out on fabulous dates and saw my past, present and future life unfold. Every time I reverted back to past people, places, and things, the more I saw my evolution; old keys won’t open new doors.

Through Mindful Mavens, I now share what I’ve learned: when we heal ourselves, we heal our lineage, one breath, one vibration, one act of surrender at a time. My purpose is healing through frequency and flow, interconnecting sound, spirit, serenity.

Pour into you!

XO ~ Gillian